Saturday, July 31, 2010

some little things

Life is getting better, I started smile again, and laugh at my own jokes. Being sarcastic and all, acting like shits never had been happened. I'm back to the old me, oh good month.August will be a quite busy month.I'm already getting busy, with projects that need to be pass up at the end of August tho, i would never change as a better person, always burn the midnight oil.

Having been sick for most of the past week, I am really bummed. Died of boredom.So,I engaged in a lot of movie-marathons with no real logic or structure. It was pretty much me watching whatever movie I picked off. And inadvertently last night I watched
2.P/s I love u(ma fav)♥
3.10 things I hate about you
4.A lot like Love
5.Dear John


7.Friday the 13th

Oh yeah,C broadband connection sucks.So I bought a new one,M broadband.And and Im afraid of the Basic theme Quran aka BTQ,I think I will not score for this Mid-term since I didnt manage to fill in the blank because I cant remember Quranic verses during the examination day.Luckily its only 20%.So I MUST score for assignments and presentations anddd...for this upcoming final eh and not to forget, memorization of the Surah Al-Furqan verses 66-77 which contribute 10marks for sho.


Tuesday, July 27, 2010

smoulder whisper


yes. thats one word to describe me right now. so many things happened lately. and i'm still on my way accepting the fact that something just happened to me. something which is not good. oh well, just like you said, we need to focus on our studies no?

my right hand is aching..thanks to sociology writing assignments.I just wrote about Social Stratification.I just finished them.Im so happy.I need to submit it personally to my Filipino lecturer,D Gomon.hah!He may ask me anything about this topic.I need to be prepared.

and i hate the fact that i'm becoming a lazy person day by day. i have no idea why. i hate it. when i think about studying, i was so lazy to do so. instead i wasted my time doing stupid stuffs. sometimes i feel scared. i still am tho. its my future I am talking about.but one thing for sure,I think I really want to take IR or Psych. insyaallah. (:

Monday, July 26, 2010

I can feel the static


this week gonna be ok.class as usual although sometimes its kinda boring but at least,friends are always here to cheer me up.and I skipped almost every friday class :P yaya I know I need to break my bad habit

Foinally,Mid-Term examination was already over and I already got my results for a few paper,Alhamdullilah beyond my expectations including arabic subject:) eff yeah, but BUT I need to work harder for quizzes,presentantions and of course 4 the final E.Oh oh,tomorrow my class start at 9.better than 8 rite?heh.and and maybe this 1st of August my sociology group will have a trip to Malacca to make some research about Baba and Nyonya culture.I dont wanna go but for the sake of the project for getting good carry marks and teamwork..yeahh I need to go:/ I have to sacrifice from lepak-ing with my friends on that day.sobs3

oh just so you know, i don't like anyone. i'm not into anyone. i'm not with anyone and i'm not thinking about finding one. random tak? so that some of you, yeah, especially you, would stop doing those bloody faces when you see me. if you want him that bloody much, take him because just so you know, me and him are just friends. ok JUST FRIENDS. tak salah pun kan? hahah ok? (:

but hey im into Rob Steadman. thats for sho.

k bye.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

thinking and thinking how ridiculous I am

1.Im sooo effin pissed. internet, msn, they are just the same. they should just get married and live happily ever after. bloody hell lah weh.
2.I feel confused too. really really confused with you. you? yeah you, okay? orite, okay then, whtever, oh yeah, okay.
3.tomorrow I have an examination at 9.30 am,its BTQ.Wish me luck :)
4.and oh oh Im kinda confused between black or red kebaya or kurung cottons for this upcoming raya:P(smgt raya lah konon)
p/s:im pretty much a lifeless person. heh.
k bye n8!

Friday, July 23, 2010

time really really flow sooo effin faasstt

hi its already 4.04 am in the morning and I still cant sleep



p/s:Why can't Alex Turner sings Stolen for me? ha? ha? why why

'alia, alia, tade soalan lagi bodo ke?'heh

My words and my voice,isn't yours.

Seriously, i'm really lethargic of being bored. I really am hate of myself being so cynical that people hates me back. I'm a bitch, no doubt. I can't get my ass to a better place where I should belong, where else? HELL. Sometimes I wanna says "fuck yo mama fo being so jerk". Idk why, sometimes we had to throw the bads, keep the goods. But i can't, I wanna be a somebody. Who doesn't exist in freaking asshole kind of life you know. I hate fights, Hello, Alia, is so not you. Don't be such a moron. I had no doubt to head off for a new life. I'm not gonna be fully sarcastic, cynical and pessimistic. I'm gonna be a better person after this, just watch.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Hate you or love you?

The question thats running through my mind right now. Nothing matters because you've already got someone else. What should i do? Move on and smile all day, pretend nothing strikes my heart. Hmm apparently, i dont think so. I tried not to sort of fall for you but it happened without me myself realizing it. Should i scribble all my feelings towards you here? Naah, personal stuffs doesnt require me to explain much here. Despite the fact that you made me fall for you, on the other hand, you're being so nice to me, treating me as if i'm your girlfriend. It got me back to sense when i started thinking, are sort of playing games with my heart? Right now, i'm confuse. I need help. Someone. Please?

btw,sorry if i didnt return any calls or texts from you people. Major sorry. I'm just not in the mood in switching on my phone. Should have just thrown this phone to the wall and let it shattered into pieces to the floor. I'm feeling all angry, eh no, sad, eh no happy. Haha. I speak fluent sarcasm incase you would like to know (:

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


You build a heart
that's strong
Walls to last long
Its paper mâché

You think the
battle's won
No use for shields
And guns
You'll need them now
That the lump takes a
home in your throat
With the words that
You're choking
as you try
To tell yourself its ok
Flying by time to gaze
But never face

Your stuck in the moment when you thought you were rolling but you cant move on
you feel like your able to live past the moment but you cant move on asking why asking why
why i cant move on

You can't go please stay
No don't stay go away
I'm left I'm right
I'm black I'm white

You ride a Carousel
round and round till
the sickness grows inside

that lump takes a strangling hold
squeezes tight till your cold and tears run dry and where you once were worm now is tattered and torn crumbles and fades

Your stuck in the moment when you thought you were rolling but you cant move on you feel like your able to live past the moment but you cant move on asking why asking why why i cant move on

Incomplete serious
Typical reaction
I can't get over over
Over you

This is how the story goes
Glory in the moment

You can't move on
cant move on
cant move on

oh i cant move on

Your stuck in the moment when you thought you were rolling but you cant move on you feel like your able to live past the moment but you cant move on asking why asking why why i cant move on

Sunday, July 18, 2010


I am not a perfect person nor someone great.SORRY.I meant what I said, I made a mistake and I’m sorry. And for those who are mad at me or no longer support me, all I can say is sorry.if u cant forgive me,'cermin dulu diri sendiri'.dats all

Friday, July 16, 2010

more banksy-nice kan:)

thug for life, off clerkenwell road, london
forgive us our trespassing, salt lake city
clean streets maid, hoxton, london
where's hollywood, los angeles
welcome to hell, london
because i'm worthless, near farringdon, london

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

chocolate love love

When the going gets tough, the tough eats chocolate.I am a chocoholics.I love eating chocolates when Im down,unhappy-I go for chocs When my period is coming,Im craving for them.Snickers is one of my favourite+with my fav vanilla coke.It makes my mouth watery. Thanks chocs!:D HAH!!!

Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time
-author unknown

Monday, July 12, 2010

goodbye :,(

I'm trying to think on the time we spent together. I imagine his as I had seen his in the past, lying lazly and looking at me with his beautiful eyes.I miss u.Now u're gone.I think it has been stung by a scorpion.RIP my dear lovely cat.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Saturday, July 10, 2010


I am so emotionally devastated.. For about the last five, six months, I have been going through a rough patch.I guess I'm having a hard time being in denial. Other times, I thought he might have been just upset because of the little arguments that we have had but this time, I think he means it. I don't know what is wrong with me. I guess he has been thinking about this before he decide to.That's why its so easy for him and a few days after that I can see already have some1 else. I can see his new pictures with her.Other times in the past, when we broke up, I tried so hard to move on but I couldn't. I went out, made new friends and stayed occupied. But he doesn't leave my mind. I honestly feel like it might be. I guess I am most to blame here because I revolved my world around him. I don't know what to do, I'm hurting so much. I felt heart broken at what he said to me b4 this and he has given me so many chances. I'll admit that I was clingy and I'm sorry I did not put more effort in making myself a better person for him. I always realize things when it is too late
I try and try to be strong.
I don't think I can ever truly move on and I am not left asking myself why
I know it is selfish on me to try to hold on to someone who doesn't want to be with me I don't know how to move on.I just want to be happy again.
Since he already happy with some1 else
im not so good
urgh come on!I cant be this weak