WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

Why is it so hard to find a true love?

well I guess izit because Im not ready to have a serious relationship
I know love never last forever
so its better live alone than being hurt
okay aku tau tajuk ni sumpah bangang lagi poyo tp this is what me and a few of my friends yg lebih kurg mcm aku banyak cakap pasal ni lately
okay we already 20 and still have no one
I mean at least ada someone close,bf wanna be pn okay but nahh smue failed
tp korg Im cool with it and I hope korg pun cool with it
chill jodoh ada kt mana2 maybe bukan masa terdekat

FOREVER ALONE
LOVE is not my priority
okay ni usually my close friends tau la pasal ni
my priority is my family and my career when I get a job soon
I prefer being alone
Im afraid to be in a relationship apa lagi getting married
but this is what I think now maybe not 10 yrs later

GUYS
I have been in short-term relationships so many times and I cant find any chemistry among us
when I have a crush on someone and that guy also gave me a respond,usually Im not accepting him and hurted him first no matter what
I avoid to be close with him and just be a friend
coz Im afraid I will hurt losing someone that I love
when he goes,I do feel empty for a while and at that moment I do regret it
but at least I know he's not sincere befriend with me because he just wanna to be my someone special not a good friend
this has been happened so many times and I know its my fault for not accept something that is pure called love
if we didnt try maybe we didnt know and I choose not to try
I dont wanna be hurt no matter what

HE GIVES ME HOPE
but at last,he met another one
I guess he just cuci mata and choose the best
but there's nothing wrong
aku pun mcm tu kdg2
but yet GUYS are much complicated
however at the same time,he still msg me 'U jual mahal sgt,I penat.I didnt love my gf pn BUT I just dont wanna be alone,I wanna think about my future,I know I will not get you but the truth is I love you' take care love.
whatdahell rite?if u didnt love someone why u asked her to be ur gf
luckily, I didnt accept u coz maybe u just pick me because u tgh boring and alone tho?tp bila tgok dia dgn org lain and bila org tny I thought korg akan couple
then aku akan cakap
oh ya dia hensem,aku buruk so org hensem mmg xsesuai dgn perempuan buruk
igt x org cakap laki hensem pmpn bese2 je tp laki xhensem,pmpn cun
yeah pgg pada konsep itu

HE HAS A GF
then kantoi!ur gf check msg and jaga ur akaun fb
kt IM tu ur gf
SUMPAH aku malas campur time tu
usually I said awal2,sorry i xlayan bf org if u bf orang
he replied,dia xmcm gf i pn,ktrg xmacam kapel
tp dkt wall"i love you,i miss you,Imma crazy about you"
liar.everyday u called me,msg me,gimme a hope but Thank God Im not easily melt
Im though!just so u know
I get it I get it,if Im ur gf,u will find another one behind my back kan
so?daaa

PERVERT
okay I didnt not to say about this but yeah you such a pervert
U wanna girl so that u can show ur 18 SX
where's ur pride?I wonder why kan
guys always wanna a good girl
looked sopan,ala wanita melayu terakhir to make their wives but see?
nowadays its hard to find a good guy!

NO CHEMISTRY
most of guys I met,we didnt have any chemistry
so nothing will happen la kan

okay habis!boleh gelak kuat2 sb aku start cakap pasal LOVE omg omg
geli sial

ape2 je lah

okay hari ni aku bangun awal
bajet rajin
aku wat asgmnts psycho and email kt miss maisarah
ptut la dia xreply2 email aku rupanya salah email b4 ni
dah wasting time!ishh
so xtau la aku buat betul or x
-.-

yang best hari ni parents aku dtg melawat aku
yes nk suruh belanja makan!anyway nilai sgt aman tanpa org ramai
nk buat ape pun best
1 lg!aku suka CNY sb wlpn aku xceleb tp still dpt ang pau
this yr aku dpt dlm 20o rm
heheh tanx!
okay tu je
Happy CNY to all my chinese friends!byee!

The Fray - Over My Head (Cable Car)

everytime I sneezed I think of you

my head hurts.
my throat hurts.
my hair is a mess.
and

im a mess.

thank you ASGMNTS
p/s:aku mmg ptut kahwin dgn laki tua kaya yg nak mati pas SPM :O
okay jk
bye

I HATE MYSELF

its 1 something a.m. it means class is going to start less than 7 hours. goodbye holiday. i wanna cry. seriously. and honestly? i havent touch my books nor my revision books. this time, im gonna die, for sure. serious shit. now im seriously scared and worried.im not in a good mood too

I miss my family and home
dah lama xbalik
:'(

why am i so lazy. i hate myself siaaaaa.

future scares the hell off me now.

k bye

ferry corsten beautiful

aku xpernah rasa cm excited gila nk tulis new entry sb I know Im no GOOD about it.idea aku x bombastik and kdg2 lack of inspiration,xtau tulis ape pun. tp akibat kebosanan yang tahap gila F punya,so aku pn tulis je lah ape2 je.Since blog aku xde lah tumpuan ramai sgt so bnd ni kira mcm diary aku je ar,sedihnya alone sbb mbr aku smue cm jauh.da lama gila kot aku xkeluar hang out dgn member2 aku.dah new year pun tp aku mcm DAH LAMA GILA terperap bapak lah bosan,nasib UIA Nilai best.eh xbaik tipu,Sumpah xbest xde ape pun.tmpt paling xbest dlm malaysia.zzzzz.klau diberi peluang,tiap2 mgu pn aku nak balik.oh ya lama gila aku xbalik Kuantan so aku sgt bosan stay di KL.dah la xde sape2.last aku balik kuantan was during raya haji je aa.pastu xde dah.smlm spotcheck,aku xsorok ape kt mana2 just kt blik study je.xkne ape sb aku buat muka xde perasaan je.tp mmg fellow tu cerewet la,aku pakai shorts nmpk lutut sikit dah suruh tukar.bkn nak nmpk ternampak,alah xkisah la.hah 1 lg,aku xsuka sem ni.evertyhing seems xclear pun.carry marks pun aku xsure cmne.ye la asgmnt 20,mid sem 20 tp kuiz xde pn nk cover carry marks cukupkan 60.eh hampeh lah wey,aku NAK KUIZ bru btul2 cabar minda and sng nk hitung carry marks bpe.nk aim sng ni nk hbis sem ape kes.plus naik cuti aku cm lg la byk buat hal sndri mood tu cm xde LGSG.aku kne jumpa bomoh kot buang badi2 kt badan aku ni.okay lovelife,aku dah bosan org tny dah ada BF bru ke belum sbb perlu ke ada BF tu?aku bkn xnk ada bf tp aku xtau pn aku nk minat sape plus xde sapa pun minat aku.hah!okay fine,xde sape pn yg blh buat aku rasa mcm melting mcm sebelum ini.xde xde.doakan aku xgay or les or etc or I will end up as andartu sampai bila2.okay aku ngarut.xde mood nk type dah.k bye!

Did I read it right?

Here we go again

so been busy with finals. and im officially free on next monday because its a MID SEM break!:)
..aaaa i love the smell of freedom. *sniff*

classes,examination was.... urghh. sucks to be me. because studying last minute doesnt even worth a bloody penny. sleepless night, endless cups of nescafes or coffees. eyebags. and my sleeping schedule are going bananas again. syllabus was soo bloody hard this semester. with your smart classmates all over the place but yaay I already got 1 paper and I thought Im gonna fail but yaay I passed,ngee.Its 'something'not so gempak la tapi :(over 20 by the way.im pretty much stressed. oh well, too late. should have studied long time ago. padan muka la. zzz

i havent watch movies for months now. GOD im so outdated. I NEED TO GO OUT.
asdfghkl

ok the end!

dah pagi!!

kenapa aku rasa macam xde sapa2 lgsg skrg
smue org cm benci je kt aku ke aku je rasa cmtu tp ada je yg okay
perasaan aku la tu
lgpun yg kelakarnya kawan aku ckp room8 diak kawan aku jgk cakap aku ni cm pening2 blur2 skit time sekelas dgn aku sem lepas tp yg terharu dia cakap aku BAIK-.-
ntah laa
tp okay lah,hdup alone pn okay je(sedap kan hati)
sbb lately,aku makan pn sorg2,tdo pn lewat etc lah tp sme bnd tu aku buat atas pilihan sndri
aku pn xtau asal aku xnk makan ramai2,join kwn2
mcm smue bnd aku nak buat SENDIRI
teruk kan cm kera sumbang (lama x guna peribahasa ni)
aku rasa ni smue tekanan nk exam or tekanan sbb this sem smue bnd cm xbest kot
aku mcm mls je nk enjoy sgt this sem tp ada 1 prob,aku suka gila beron9
sbb kwn2 aku yg jauh smue on9 so aku chat la dgn dorg rasa cm dorg konon2 ada kt dpn mata
cewah

tp btul la,maybe aku xreti cmpur org sgt pastu dorg pn cm xsuka aku dah
habit aku la tu makan sorg2,smue nk buat sorg2 or maybe sbb aku bdk baru,dorg ada partner aku sesat je dlm tu
tp ade la kwn2 bru,smue okay la
aku mmg cmtu la banyak bnd suka buat sorg2
kdg2 muka aku mmg xramah sgt lah
pastu maybe aku memilih sgt dlm berkwn
cmtu la ada kawan aku ckp
ye la kdg2 kne la memilih
klau x memilih susah
anyway,aku xde kawan baik pun
lepas banyak sgt bnd jadi,aku ambik keputusan xnak too close or jahat sgt dgn orang
rapat sgt-one day mesti akan gado
jahat sgt-one day mesti cm nk je kawan dgn dia
so neutral je la
sedar kan klau kte baik sgt some1 or kawan2 kita tu
then dia buat kita terasa,nak tegur pun payah
xtegur karang,luka berdarah pulak
cmtu la kdg2 jadi
last2 aku buat hal sndri je
:)
maybe at this moment,ni la bnd aku perlu buat
neutral je dgn smue orang
xramai kawan pun xpe la asal happy dgn kawan yg xbape ramai tu
okay aku xde idea dah plus dah nk dkt pukul 5 kot
kelas pkul 8(mesti lena punya)
p/s:xsbr g gombs,bosan sgt daa kt cnie:(
apsal aku rasa mcm perlu ke aku bgtau sme bnd ni kat blog
maybe sbb aku xtau nk bgtau kt sapa dah kot
cepat lah cuti cepat lah cuti cuti cuti!
okay bye

I dont wanna fall another moment into your gravity

Its funny when I read back my old blog posts, it's kinda emotional rite
Im always said that Im lonely and org blh cakap"hok aloh budak ni sedih2 cm sial macam aku xsedih or whatsoever".HAHA. Some of them, I dont even remember! Anyways, hello guys :)

Yes yes yes, I know this might be once in a blue moon kind of post, but I'm ever lazy. VERY. So just read up once in a while.
So far it almost a month or more Im here,in Nilai.Mid term are coming soon and this kinda worries me because my Psychology lecturer rarely entering our class because she has too many meetings.Urgh what Im gonna dooo?!!-.- okay boring cakap pasal ni like a whole times aku cakap dkt org ramai!!

At the same time, looking at the brightside, I think I'm learning a whole bunch of life skills. Umm, taking public transports, using public telephones, walking ABSURB distances, travelling around nilai and Kay-ell on a flat tires. All that stuff. Useless actually, but who knows what they might bring in the future?

Social wise, I think I'm sort of in a weird place now. I've beginning to make enemies and reality sinks in. There are tonnes of people out there who think I'm sombong, arrogant, bastard, stupid, bla bla bla. As for the sombong part, let me just say that I'm a very shy person :) I'm serious! I'm only crazy around people I know. People whom I'm not close with, I don't feel nice. I feel awkward around them. Thats why I'll be as quiet as a mouse.

For the bastard, insensitive and other, I would just like to say, life is cruel. I can be an ass at times so just deal with it. I can also be nice at times.I can be like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde :D

anyway his theory
I reject his hypothesis tho.

hehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
dats all for today
gtg now!kbye

Zzzzzzzz

I think relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We’re young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun while we can and, save the serious stuff for later
— Summer, (500) Days of Summer

i think im gonna be forever alone kind of person. im just tired. tired of waiting. tired of lies. tired of egos. tired of excuses. tired of being sad. tired of everything.

i just want someone to cheer me up now. make me laugh. make me smile.

i think Summer is right. (:

so hi?zzz. oh well, im so bored right now. zorro on my goat kill me.

and oh btw, i HATE MY FFFUUUFREAKING ASSIGNMENTS
i HAVE NO idea what to do bout em but I MUST finish em no matter what
urghh:/ but I didnt start anything yet

k bye

macam tgh blur tp tulis je laaa!

*lama aku x menulis..sbb busy sangat kot lately ni dgn assignments yang bertimbun wlpun aku xde la rajin mana nak siapkan smue2 tu
*rasanya x terlambat lg nk cakap Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha kt smue;)
yaay,at last aku berjaya for the 1st time g smyg raya
klau x,jrg sgt la aku nk bangun pagi2 raya ni
:P
*cuti kejap je 4 days je pun,sobs!!nak CUTI LAGI!!
*sedihkan rasa bila kawan dah xboleh terima kita langsung
apa yang kte buat silap,dia mmg xboleh terima
buat la baik camna pun
macam dia je yang perfect selama ni
tpi at least kita tau,dia mmg utk kita ke x
*bru ni aku dgr 1 ayat,I dont wanna flashback,igt zaman bangang
I wanna look forward
aku mcm setuju dgn smue tu
aku rasa aku xpatut igt benda2 lama
smuenye wasting
what for kita nak igt org yg igt kita pun x
even tegur nak cakap hi or tny khabar pun xde respon
aku rasa maybe dia kenal aku pn xdah
so lets start a new life bebeh!
it almost a year neway and I can survive
yaaayy!:)
*WAJIB:focus study lagi dan lagi
*kurangkan makan??(HAHA)
*tgok movies banyak2
*last but not least,jaga kesihatan!!!(cewah)
*mesti jd lg better dri dulu:)amin

There this phase in life where nothing goes right. Even the smallest issue becomes a big of a deal. This is the changing phase. It's normal for us to find it really hard to accept the changes occuring around us. And in time, we change too. I have gone through quite a number of situations these past nineteen years. It wasn't all that easy. As a matter of fact, there were just too many incidents that kept on happening. But, I've learned so much. And everything that has happened, I made into life lessons for me to ponder on when I'm at my worst. I think I survived. No bruises, no cuts, no marks anywhere. Just maybe, a few black dots in my heart.

And for these past months, I must be honest, it hasn't been all that great. But, the bad moments are the moments that thought me the most. And the good moments are memories, I shall keep. I can't be more grateful to Allah, for blessing me for everything that I have and that has happened to me. I just hope, whatever happens next year, still makes me the person I am today. I can never change for people. If some think that I'm wrong and some think that I'm right, than which should I follow? I still think it should be me that dictates the flow of my life.

Reflecting yourself in the mirror is a good gesture. Don't just tell others to do it. We, ourselves should do it and look back to the things we have done.

Just, don't judge. It'll get you no where.

goodbye my luckless romance

guess what, im starting to hate November.

and yeah, November is just another fucked up month. great. and, im gonna get through this, like i always did. this is a challenge from the Al-Mighty. i know it is. and im gonna get through all of this, insyallah. and im gonna be much more stronger, than before.

but somehow, i just wanna go far far away from here and i just dont want to see those kind of faces in my life. ever. again.


*period*

Damsel in Distress

I don't wanna go back to facing reality.
I don't wanna go back to college.
I don't wanna say goodbye to my bed, my house and my holiday life.

But, I have too.

pieces of puzzle

can i have three wishes?
just three (:

first, i want a good happy life
and then i would ask for the world to be a nicer place, especially for someone like me,
and last but not least, i would wish for another three wishes (:

fuck you!haha

I see you driving 'round town
With the girl i love and i'm like,
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooo
I guess the change in my pocket
Wasn't enough i'm like,
Fuck you!
And fuck her too!
I said, if i was richer, i'd still be with ya
Ha, now ain't that some shit? (ain't that some shit?)
And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a...
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooo

Yeah i'm sorry, i can't afford a ferrari,
But that don't mean i can't get you there.
I guess he's an xbox and i'm more atari,
But the way you play your game ain't fair.

I pity the fool that falls in love with you
(oh shit she's a gold digger)
Well
(just thought you should know nigga)
Ooooooh
I've got some news for you
Yeah go run and tell your little boyfriend

(chorus)

Now i know, that i had to borrow,
Beg and steal and lie and cheat.
Trying to keep ya, trying to please ya.
'Cause being in love with you ass ain't cheap.

I pity the fool that falls in love with you
(oh shit she's a gold digger)
Well
(just thought you should know nigga)
Ooooooh
I've got some news for you
Yeah go run and tell your little boyfriend


Now baby, baby, baby, why d'you wanna wanna hurt me so bad?
(so bad, so bad, so bad)
I tried to tell my mamma but she told me
"this is one for your dad"
(your dad, your dad, your dad)
Uh! Whhhy? Uh! Whhhy? Uh!
Whhhy lady? Oh! I love you oh!
I still love you. Oooh!

Paramore- Adore with Lyrics

:D

*ALHAMDULILLAH*
dpt 3 above
basic theme al quran n arab pass wlpun x pergi hafazan
haha


syukur sgt2
thank you ALLAH:)
will try my best for next sem